5 reasons why modern life causes stress (and what to do about it)
(Updated July 2023) Experiencing stress and burnout? The stressors of modern day and lifestyle challenges may be making things worse. Here’s what to do about it.
5 reasons why modern life causes us stress (and what to do about it)
By Joyce Chong (updated July 2023)
Ever feel like your head is swimming with everything that you’re juggling? Let’s take a snapshot of a typical day in your life from the moment you wake to the time close your eyes at night. If you’re like many of the clients who we work with, it’s a never-ending juggle of work, study, family, technology, finances, friends, social life, meal prep, exercise, self-care, and…the ever-dreaded laundry. With the sheer scope of all that you’re juggling, is it any wonder that modern life causes us stress?
Indeed, stress is a natural response that prompts us to attend to threats in our environment:
“Stress can be defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation.”
How we respond to these difficult situations, however, has a large impact on our stress levels, wellbeing, and mental health. Without addressing the underlying causes of why modern life causes us stress, it’s hard to make more sustainable changes that lead you away from burning out. Here are some main reasons for stress in modern life, and what to do about them.
1. Mindset affects stress
Fundamentally, stress occurs when we perceive a situation as difficult and potentially insurmountable. Psychologists Richard Lazarus and Susan Folkman, in their Transactional Model of Stress and Coping, outline stress as the body’s reaction to events perceived to be challenging, and highlighted the role of one’s perceived ability to respond to that threat. Thus, perception is key, and that’s where mindset comes in. Indeed, how we perceive an event can lead to a heightened stress response vs a more manageable reaction.
Let’s say you have to give a presentation for work. By seeing it as a disaster it can increase stress levels and lead to over-preparation and panic… a sure path to burnout. However, with more helpful self-talk you can dial stress levels down and the task will seem more manageable:
Certain personality styles, including perfectionists, those experiencing imposter syndrome, and those with people-pleasing tendencies, may find that mindset contributes to their experience of stress. Specifically, mindset can also lead you to take on too much (because you should aim for excellence), push yourself too hard (because you need to show that you are capable), and stop you from setting appropriate boundaries that would limit the stress that you experience (because you’re conflict-avoidant and definitely don’t want to rock the boat by saying no).
Our mindset flows on from how we see ourselves (our identity), and we make choices each day that align with our identity. This in itself can reinforce stress, for example:
Heni, a busy young professional, wants to scale the corporate ladder all whilst balancing finances and a healthy social life. She wants to take on all opportunities and do it extremely well. The inability to set boundaries with herself can then increase stress and contribute to her burning out.
Ando, the stay-at-home-parent, who treats it as his job and wants to excel in it (whipping up Instagram-worthy bento boxes, baking from scratch, display-home level tidiness) can deprioritise self-care and have few ways of reducing stress.
Emily, the juggle-it-all mid-lifer, who is in a management position looking after their team whilst at work, and then looking after parents, children, and fur babies outside of work…all whilst keep up their performance on their own work. The easy solution for Emily is to scrimp on self-care just so they can churn through the work; also by failing to set boundaries with others they find themselves stressed and overwhelmed.
DOES THIS ALL HIT TOO CLOSE TO HOME?
If the above examples all sound eerily familiar when you reflect on what causes you stress, take a closer look at Planet Burnout, our resource on shifting Identity, Mindset and Actions to help you lead a more sustainable, less overwhelmed life.
TIPS TO HELP YOUR MINDSET:
Develop realistic expectations - of how things should be, of what is required of you, of how well it must be done. Often stress arises when reality doesn’t match expectations - for example, that things should go as planned, that you should be able to manage a task, that you should be in control.
Step back from the ‘shoulds’ and other unhelpful thinking styles. Stress can result when reality doesn’t meet our expectation of how things ‘should’ be. Other unhelpful thinking styles that contribute to stress include mind-reading (e.g. thinking that someone is judging you harshly), catastrophising (e.g. thinking about the worst case scenario), and personalisation (e.g. thinking that someone’s frustration is targeted at you). If unhelpful thinking styles contribute to stress then take a closer look at this article on Thinking Styles that Sabotage your Mental Health.
Flip the script on unhelpful thoughts. Sometimes it helps to hold a mirror up to thoughts that increase your stress. Flip the thought that “I must/I should” to seeing it as a preference and ‘ideal state’ rather than something that has to be achieved irrespective of any constraints you face. Flip the thought that “They’re frowning because they’re angry at me.” to consider alternative reasons for someone’s demeanour, for example that they’ve had a bad morning.
Shifting mindset and flipping the script on unhelpful thoughts might seem easy in theory, but often these thoughts are quite automatic, in that we can’t see their impact - we just know that we feel stressed. Spend some time deliberately practising analysing your thoughts and it will become easier to spot them. If you’d like tailored help on shifting a negative mindset why not book in to work with one of our team?
2. Life events + Daily hassles add to your stress plate
If the global pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that life events contribute to stress. Other life events that increase stress are outlined in the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory, and include the death of a life partner, divorce, major personal injury, retirement, and pregnancy.
Daily hassles - ordinary challenges we face in daily - can also cause stress. These include having too much to do, cost of living, and conflict at work.
Both life events and daily hassles have been linked to increased stress.
TIPS FOR COPING WITH LIFE EVENTS AND DAILY HASSLES
Life events may be tricky to change, so it helps to take a look at what you can control, and to practice acceptance of what you cannot.
For daily hassles, consider what’s in your toolkit for coping (see Point 5). Perhaps having a system or process can help with misplacing/losing things, or speaking to a psychologist (like us!) can help with managing daily hassles such as troubling thoughts or getting along with fellow workers.
The most important thing is to do something, rather than bury your head in the sand. The problem won’t go away that way.
3. technology and constant connection
Technology can be a double-edge sword. It enables us to work more flexibly so that working from home has now become a reality. It enables us to connect with friends and family all around the world, to span different time zones and to have insight into the lives of our nearest and dearest by following them on their socials. It allows us to stay up-to-date with the latest in news, trends, and what’s going on in your neighbourhood. All without leaving home.
The downside? The constant connection can have a real toll on your wellbeing, causing significant stress as you are tethered to your phones and laptop as work emails pile up (see this article on The Tyranny of Constant Contact). Staying up-to-date with the latest news can lead to doom-scrolling, with negative effects on both physical and mental health. And…where do we even begin with social media and its impact on social comparison, FOMO, body image, and self-esteem? (Hint: It’s not looking too rosy).
TIPS TO HELP WITH TECHNOLOGY + CONSTANT CONNECTION
We get it, technology is part of everyday life. However, let’s look at setting healthy and appropriate boundaries with technology. This will of course vary depending on what you do for work (students and those in IT might find it harder to step away from devices). Try the following:
Conduct an audit on what you spend your time on with your devices. It may be that you end up on socials far longer than you anticipate each day, or fall into the trap of doom scrolling once you hop on ‘to relax’ after work which then bleeds into dinner prep. From this, set realistic and sustainable limits on device use, for example not scrolling through the news after work but instead getting dinner prep out of the way first.
Commit to being device-free for a period of time each week. Instead, go offline and connect with friends in real life.
Turn off alerts so that you’re not at the mercy of constant pinging from emails, messages, and updates on who’s doing what on socials.
Tame your social media use by setting limits (e.g. Hopping off 2 hours before bedtime), using apps that cut off your access, or hiding/deleting apps off your phone.
4. Poor lifestyle factors
Whilst stress may be inevitable, there are ways in which lifestyle contributes to the problem. Given that we are all time-poor, it’s easy to see how looking after our health can fall by the wayside as we:
Rely on caffeine and sugar to pick us up, and alcohol to wind down.
Scrimp on exercise because the To Do list wins that battle.
Make poor nutrition choices because you ‘deserve’ a treat given how hard you work.
Stay up past your bedtime because it’s the only moment of peace that you have.
Neglect enjoyable or rejuvenating self-care activities such as connecting with friends or going for a massage because there are other things that need to be done.
The reality is that these basic building blocks are extremely important when it comes to reducing stress as:
Exercise reduces stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol.
Sleep helps the body to repair and consolidates memory and learning, as well as helps with emotion regulation.
Connecting with others is helpful for reducing stress and increasing meaning in life.
So with that in mind, let’s turn our thoughts to how we can follow through with what we all know that we ‘should’ do…
Lifestyle TIPS TO REDUCE STRESS
Forget relying on being ‘in the mood’ or waiting for the ‘right time’. Instead, commit to just doing it.
Find your motivation - whether that’s being accountable to others, or thinking about how you will feel after looking after yourself, work out what works for you.
Go slow… practice mindfulness, get into nature, or start journalling - activities that require you to slow down mind and body will help with stress.
Commit to being consistent so that the habit eventually forms.
5. POOR COPING SKILLS REINFORCE STRESS
Stressful events are inevitable, but when we do nothing in response then we’re setting ourselves up for even poorer wellbeing and mental health. Avoiding dealing with the source of stress means the problem won’t be solved nor will it make things easier (in fact, it may even increase stress if you’re just postponing the inevitable).
Avoiding experiencing your emotions - say, by using alcohol to dull emotions, or shopping to avoid sadness - means you’ll rely on these coping skills time and time again. So what coping skills do we recommend?
TIPS FOR IMPROVING COPING SKILLS
Problem-focused coping: Skills that address the root cause
When you can address the source of the stress you also learn ways to prevent it from happening down the track. Coping skills that are included in here include:
Boundary-setting to avoid taking on too much.
Seeking support and guidance, for example from your manager (to help with job-specific stressors), your lecturer (for study-specific stressors) or psychologist (to help with mindset and lifestyle stressors).
Time management to help you prioritise and work on important items.
Establishing systems and processes as well as routines (daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly) to reduce daily hassles, including meal prepping, setting up a morning routine, and using a planner to stay on top of things.
Emotion-focused coping: Skills to help you deal with all the feels…
At times it may not be possible to address the source of the stress, in which case emotion-focused coping skills help you to regulate strong emotions. Such coping skills include:
Exercise to help reduce stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline
Meditation and mindfulness help to decrease distress and calm the mind.
Self-soothing skills such as distress tolerance.
Journalling to help you process your thoughts and feelings (try this positive psychology journal).
Reframing/flipping the script - shifting an unhelpful mindset to ease distress.
WHAT SHOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT STRESS MANAGEMENT?
Given that stress is ever-present in modern life, before you start building your resilience toolkit, let’s look at some realities of managing stress:
Stress management is an ongoing process, not a set-and-forget approach. You will have to work on managing stress regularly.
What works to reduce your stress will change depending on your circumstances and stressors. Sometimes you will lean more on problem-focused coping, and at other times, emotion-focused coping.
You don’t have to manage stress alone. There is a vast amount of information out there, and it helps to lean on evidence-based sources, or seek out a professional.
Ready to start working on reducing stress? Book in for a tailored session with one of our team here, or explore our book Planet Burnout here.
References
Biggs, A., Brough, P., & Drummond, S. (2017). Lazarus and Folkman’s psychological stress and coping theory. In C.L. Cooper & J.C. Quick (eds.), The handbook of stress and health: A guide to research and practice (pp. 351-364). Wiley Blackwell: https://doi.org/10.1002/9781118993811.ch21
Philp, M., Egan, S.J., & Kane, R. (2012). Perfectionism, over commitment to work, and burnout in employees seeking workplace counselling. Australian Journal of Psychology, 64, 68-74. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1742-9536.2011.00028.x
Burns, D. D. (1980). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. New York: New American Library.
Edelman, S. (2003). Change your thinking. ABC Books.
Williamson, A. M, Fayer, A. (2000). Moderate sleep deprivation produces impairments in cognitive and motor performance equivalent to legally prescribed levels of alcohol intoxication. Occupational Environmental Medicine, 57, 649 – 655. https://doi: 10.1136/oem.57.10.649
Ten Have M., De Graff, R., & Monshouwer K. (2011). Physical exercise in adults and mental health status findings from the Netherlands mental health survey and incidence study (NEMESIS). Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 71, 342-8. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychores.2011.04.001
Endler, N.S., & Parker, J.D.A. (1990). Multidimensional assessment of coping: A critical evaluation. Personality Processes and Individual Differences, 58, 844-854. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.58.5.844
Low self-esteem: How perfectionism sets us back...
Why does wanting to be so good leave us feeling so bad?
LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND PERFECTIONISM
by Joyce Chong
We all recognise signs of perfectionism, whether it is within ourselves or within others. Yes, the constant pursuit of excellence can have its positive side, which we see in high-achieving individuals who set and attain lofty goals.
However, in our work as clinical psychologists we’re all too familiar with the negative side of perfectionism, which has been linked to poor body image and eating disorders, unrelenting standards and dissatisfaction in athletes and competitive sports, burnout, as well as anxiety and depression [1],[2],[3],.
In attempting to look at how perfectionism impacts on self-esteem, let's look at three dimensions of perfectionism[4]:
1. Self-oriented perfectionism where expectations of perfectionism are imposed on the self (e.g. “I should…”)
2. Other-oriented perfectionism where expectations of perfectionism are placed onto others (e.g. “They should…”)
3. Socially prescribed perfectionism where we perceive that others are imposing perfectionism on us (e.g. “Society expects that I should…”).
From the above description of these dimensions of perfectionism, it's easy to see how self-esteem can be affected. Consider the following examples:
Taylor believes that a hallmark of success in life is to excel in every area, that is, “having it all”. She places high expectations on the quality of work that she produces, often working long hours to get the job done so that it is faultless (and thus exempt from criticism). She also believes that she must look perfect and as a result goes to the gym after long hours at work, and follows a very restrictive diet. Taylor also feels that her house should look like it belongs in the pages of a magazine, that she must be the supportive and available friend that she expects her own friends to be, and that she should also be an excellent cook and the perfect hostess because that’s what’s expected nowadays.
Mark works long hours and has a keen passion for sport. Unfortunately, his desire to excel in sport is constrained by his work hours which rob him of the time he needs to train so as to perform at the level that he expects of himself. At the same time, he often has to cut back on overtime in order to meet up with his training buddies. As a result he feels unable to give work or sport 100% of his efforts. His other obligations also frustrate him as he feels that these dilute his focus at work and in sport. With his ‘go hard or go home’ attitude, Mark feels like he’s not excelling in any area of his life, which then impacts on how he feels about himself.
Looking at Taylor and Mark it’s easy to understand how perfectionism can impact on self-esteem when we consider the following:
- A drive for excellence leads to setting (unrealistically) high standards in one or various domains
- Time constraints mean that expending time and effort to excel in each and every single domain is not possible
- The inevitable failure to meet the unrealistically high standards impacts on feelings of self-worth
Thus, we see a picture of individuals whose self-worth and self-esteem are overly reliant on unrealistically high standards that are likely unattainable. This leaves them with regular feedback that they have failed to meet their goals.
So, how do you know if your own perfectionism is damaging your self-esteem? Watch out for these signs:
- Do you have standards that are unrealistically high (relative to others’ standards)?
- Do you base your self-worth on whether you achieve these standards (“If…then…” logic)[5]
- Do you feel like you fail to meet your expectations much of the time?
- If you do meet your expectations, do you then discount your achievements?
- Do you have negative self-talk and unhelpful thinking styles around achievement? (“Not good enough”, “I’m a loser if I can’t get it just right”, “I only did well because it was easy…anyone couldn’t done it”, “If I don’t get a High Distinction on this assignment then I’ve failed”).
MAKING CHANGES TO PERFECTIONISM
In working with perfectionism we often find that there is great reluctance to shift unrealistically high standards because of a belief that doing this is the same as failing. However, it’s helpful to reflect on the costs that may result from having such unrealistically high standards:
Is performance in other areas suffering because you focus all of your time and energy on one area?
Is your physical health suffering because of these high standards? Do you fail to listen to your body because in order to be the best you have to suffer and ‘push through the pain’?
Are your mental health and wellbeing suffering because of your perfectionism? Do you feel stressed, anxious, or depressed because of continually trying to meet your high standards?
Are your relationships suffering because of your pursuit of your own standards, or because you impose your unrealistic standards on others? Are you taking time away from nurturing relationships because you must constantly use that time to focus on achieving?
How can you help yourself? Let’s look at a few simple strategies to get you started:
Re-examine what you base your self-worth on. If it is only on achieving goals, and your goals are set so high that you’re unlikely to achieve them, then is it possible that you’re actually setting yourself up to continually feel bad about yourself?
Check your thoughts around effort and goal-attainment to see if they’re realistic. Do you believe that you will only succeed at a job if you devote 100% of your time and effort to the task? If so, you’re likely to run into problems if you expect to do jobs perfectly in all areas of your life (hello, competing demands!).
Alternatively, are your achievements discounted once you’ve attained them because if you can do it then it mustn’t be that difficult in the first place?
Develop realistic expectations and standards to work towards. No, you’re not lowering your standards; you’re developing realistic ones that you can reasonably attain.
Aim for sustainable excellence rather than perfection. Putting 100% effort in for 100% of the time towards a goal that is unlikely to be reached (or if it does, the goal posts then shift further away) sounds like a recipe for burnout. Having to take a break or ease off to restore and recharge yourself will then take you even further away from your unrealistic goal, and likely increase your feelings of frustration and failure.
Finally, a word about making changes when it comes to shifting perfectionism – given that perfectionism can be entrenched, it can be unrealistic and counterproductive to expect that change should happen instantly. Learning new skills to overcome longstanding ways of thinking and behaving takes time and practice, and slip-ups are to be expected. If you find it hard to shift your perfectionism, speak to a mental health professional to help keep you on track with your progress.
Contact us to make an individual appointment if you find that perfectionism is affecting your self-esteem.
REFERENCES
[1] Egan, S.J., Wade, T.D., Shafran, R., & Antony, M.M. (2014). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of perfectionism. New York: The Guilford Press.
[2] Koivula, N., Hassmen, P., & Falby, J. (2002). Self-esteem and perfectionism in elite athletes: effects on competitive anxiety and self-confidence. Personality and Individual Differences, 32, 865-875.
[3] Philp, M., Egan, S.J., & Kane, R. (2012). Perfectionism, over commitment to work, and burnout in employees seeking workplace counselling. Australian Journal of Psychology, 64, 68-74.
[4] Hewitt, P.L, Flett, G.L., & Ediger, E. (1995). Perfectionism traits and perfectionistic self-presentation in eating disorders attitudes, characteristics, and symptoms. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 18, 317-326.
[5] Baldwin, M.W., & Sinclair, L. (1996). Self-esteem and “If…Then” contingencies of interpersonal acceptance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71, 1130-1141.
Early career burnout - Part 2: Workplace factors
Burnout is on the rise, and it’s disproportionately affecting millennials, Gen Zs, and those in the early stages of their career. Read on to learn what workplaces can do to help.
EARLY-CAREER Burnout (Pt 2: workplace factors)
by Giulia Villa, Fel Donatelli + Joyce Chong
EARLY CAREER BURNOUT – A REFRESHER
In case you missed it, our last article was a primer on early career burnout and those individual factors that increase the risk of suffering from this affliction. To refresh:
Early career burnout refers to the work-related state of mind comprising exhaustion, distancing from one’s work, and decreased personal achievement [1] affecting new graduates.
Burnout is affecting millennials at a higher than average rate compared to the general population (84% vs. 77%), resulting in higher levels of turnover according to a survey on burnout conducted by Deloitte.
The proportion of Gen Z experiencing burnout is catching up to Millennials, with this in part attributable to the Covid-19 pandemic that saw the lines between work and play blurred even further, as well as removing office-based social networks as a coping strategy.
Individual factors that lead to early career burnout include constant connection to work (no) thanks to technology, a fear of failure and negative feedback, as well as mindset, imposter syndrome, and perfectionism.
Looking at individual factors in burnout sheds light on only one piece of the puzzle. Critically, workplaces shape conditions that lead new graduates down the path of burnout. In this second part of our series on early career burnout, we look at those organisational factors and see what actions workplaces can take.
Organisational factors in early career burnout
Various organisational factors contribute to early career burnout, and it’s helpful for workplaces to consider how they can promote better wellbeing to buffer against it.
Job characteristics and design
The overall environment of a workplace is a major contributor to the wellbeing of every employee. Burnout has been linked to excessive workload, inadequate compensation, lack of community and absence of administrative support [2] . More specifically, the following job characteristics are believed to contribute to burnout:
Low autonomy and job control where an employee does not have much independence or influence in their role.
Low role clarity where an employee has low understanding of their role and responsibilities.
Subjective overload where the expectations of the workplace exceed the employee’s capabilities.
Optimising job design means crafting a balance between keeping the employee engaged and benefitting the organisation. The presence of low autonomy/job control, low role clarity, or subjective overload, all pose a risk to employee motivation and satisfaction. Indeed, job characteristics are more likely to predict burnout than individual factors, suggesting that job re-design is the most effective way to prevent burnout.
Onboarding processes: Lack of adequate support, training, and socialisation in the role
Commencing a new role is fraught with confusion and uncertainty. Questions fill the heads of new graduates - what will my colleagues be like? What does my future have in store? What’s expected of me? Indeed, a lack of role clarity is most frequently observed as ambiguity in relation to:[3]
How their job performance will be evaluated.
Whether there are paths for career progression.
What is the scope of the responsibilities.
The expectations of others.
This confusion about their role is just another thing for new starters to worry about and in fact has been linked to higher stress levels and emotional exhaustion.[4] A good understanding of the job description and the relevant duties and responsibilities is crucial to ease the anxiety and inadequacy often experienced by new graduates. It is important to inform new starters of all things relating to their role as part of their onboarding process.
Sometimes, new graduates face a culture of ‘learning by osmosis’. However, a lack of adequate support, training, and socialisation as part of an onboarding process, can contribute to individuals feeling overwhelmed early on in their career. This can lead to feeling underprepared for the role, and inadequacy and frustration can set in thereafter. A lack of socialisation with peers into the role may mean new graduates struggle to assimilate into the role.
Flexible work practices and ever-evolving technology breeds the ‘always on’ culture
Even before COVID-19’s arrival we were witnessing an increasingly blurred boundary between work and play due to technology and flexible work practices (in fact, take a look at this article on constant connection contributing to burnout amongst millennials ). Smartphones and laptops have revolutionised the way that we work; their portable nature means we can essentially always be ‘always on’. Notifications and alerts can lead to overwhelming ‘telepressure’: the feeling that you have to respond to any email as soon as it arrives[5] .
If the separation between work and play wasn’t already challenging enough, the global pandemic transformed traditional ideas of what can constitute a workplace. Many companies opted out of physical office spaces indefinitely in favour of working from home, whilst others were in prolonged lockdown and forced into a more permanent state of blurring the boundaries between work and home lives.
Unfortunately for those commencing their careers just before, or during the pandemic, working from home early in the piece meant missing out on structured formal onboarding processes as well as the informal, ad hoc collegiate support that emerges from being co-located. Put simply, it meant that some new graduates were left to navigate the overwhelming world of their new career from the solitude of their home.
Organisational culture
Workplaces play a pivotal role through their culture, so is your organisational culture building graduates up or burning them out? Organisational cultures that expect high performance and value output above all else, reinforce maladaptive perfectionistic behaviours, emphasise constant connection with the expectation of immediate replies to emails sent all hours of the day, and disparage errors made upon first attempt, are environments that may contribute to burnout.
Certainly, organisations hiring graduates are aware that they are in the early stages of their career, thus careful consideration should be given as to how to support them through this process through a combination of setting expectations in relation to a learning and feedback culture, as well as communicating realistic work practices and performance expectations.
Tips for organisations
Given the importance of the workplace in fostering burnout or sustainable work practices amongst new graduates, how can organisations better support those in the early stages of their careers?
1. NURTURE A SUPPORTIVE ORGANISATIONAL CULTURE
Getting an organisation’s culture right is critical as it serves to support new graduates early on in their career. Ways to promote a positive organisational culture include:
Hiring the right leaders who practice intentional leadership styles who will promote a culture of support and sustainability across the employee lifecycle and emphasise realistic work practices as well as valuing the idea of failing forward. The standards and behaviours imposed by leaders trickle down to affect all employees, greatly influencing organisational culture. Transformational leaders, who engage and motivate employees to enact the change they want to see, have been shown to decrease burnout by improving job satisfaction, performance and personal accomplishment.[6][7]
Actively discourage leaveism, or the practice of working when one is not supposed to be working, including using annual leave, sick days, or weekends to catch up.[8] This may include limiting access to technology and encouraging ‘proper’ time off. Discourage long working hours and constant connection as badges of honour, and instead stress the responsibility of employees to look after themselves to enable optimal performance when they are at work.
Model realistic work practices and work/life balance, particularly in high performance cultures. It’s important for early career individuals to get an idea of how to step into this next phase of their lives, and how to set boundaries around work so that they have time to recuperate and focus clearly the next day.
Have a culture of learning and foster a feedback culture insofar that a new graduate is expected to not know the answers, to make errors, and to fail and these are all viewed as a necessary part of career development. Emphasise the value that new graduates can bring to the organisation. A rigid feedback culture can foster feelings of frustration and hopelessness in new hires. The ability to give feedback is an important component of any employee’s job control and engagement, which we know can be a predisposing factor for burnout.
2. HIRE NEW GRADUATES FOR ‘BEST FIT’ AND CHECK IN REGULARLY
Organisations that hire on the basis of school grades fail to consider if a graduate will be a good fit for that particular role. Developing capability frameworks and success profiles means that organisations are aware of what it takes to succeed in the roles they are hiring for. This cascades down to the hiring process, and incorporating psychometric assessment to match job characteristics to new graduates can not only reveal who may be the ‘best fit’ for the role, it may also reveal areas for an employee’s development and potentially reduce turnover.
Once hired, it’s important to check in on a regular basis with graduates particularly on those aspects known to contribute to burnout (autonomy, job control, role clarity, workload) and make adjustments to their role where indicated.
3. INVEST IN YOUR LEADERS (and, in turn, your culture)
Leadership plays a vital part in your organisational culture.[9] Leaders set the tone for their team in terms of expectations for performance, they can motivate them towards high performance and cohesion, and in doing so weather challenging times.
There are factors that contribute to good leadership, and by investing in the development of their leaders organisations are investing in better organisational culture. Perquiro outlines these factors in their A BRAVE Leader model, identifying these qualities as critical to good leadership:
Authentic leaders have a strong understanding of their own values and act with integrity.
Balanced leaders remain calm in challenging situations and are open to feedback.
Rational leaders use logic to guide decision making, are consultative, and check their own assumptions.
Action-oriented leaders act promptly and demonstrate accountability.
Visionary leaders communicate the organisation’s vision and invests in building collective goals.
Empathetic leaders show genuine care and concern for others.
4. SEEK ASSISTANCE
In much the same way that we would encourage individuals to reach out and seek help if they’re experiencing burnout, organisations would be well-placed to call in consultants to look at their overall culture, as well as their hiring and onboarding processes, and how these facilitate or buffer against burnout in their team and, particularly, their new graduates.
A blend of organisational design and workplace consultants (such as our organisational psychology arm Perquiro) and clinical and registered psychologists that focus on workplace mental health (that’s us!) can help set your organisation on the right path through helpful work design, appropriate recruitment practices, and equipping employees with the right tools to help them manage their own wellbeing.
Early-career burnout getting you down? Grab our tip sheet below to learn more about how to help yourself.
REFERENCES
[1] Maslach, C., Schaufeli, W.B., & Leither, M.P. (2001). Job burnout. Annual Review in Psychology, 52, 397-422.
[2] Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2008). The truth about burnout: How organizations cause personal stress and what to do about it. John Wiley & Sons.
[3] Handy, C.B. (1976). Understanding Organisations. Penguin, Harmondsworth.
[4] Jackson, S. E., Schwab, R. C., & Schuler, R. S. (1986). Towards an understanding of the burnout phenomenon. Journal of Applied Psychology 71, 630-640.
[5] Peake, M. (2015, July 10). Do you have early career burnout? Friday Magazine. https://fridaymagazine.ae/life-culture/people-profiles/do-you-have-early-career-burnou-1.1547679
[6] Lowe, K. B., Kroeck, K. G., & Sivasubramaniam, N. (1996). Effectiveness correlates of transformational and transactional leadership: A meta-analytic review of the MLQ literature. The leadership quarterly, 7(3), 385-425.
[7] Zopiatis, A., & Constanti, P. (2010). Leadership styles and burnout: is there an association?. International Journal of Contemporary Hospitality Management.
[8] Hesketh, I., & Cooper, C.L. (2014). Leavism at work. Occupational medicine, 4, 146-147.
[9] Mohelska, H., & Sokolova, M. (2015). Organisational culture and leadership – joint vessels? Procedia – Social and Behavioural Sciences, 171, 1011-1016.
Early career burnout - Part 1: Individual factors
Burnout is on the rise, and it’s disproportionately affecting millennials, Gen Zs, and those in the early stages of their career. Read on to learn what you can do to manage your burnout.
EARLY-CAREER Burnout (Part 1: Individual factors)
by Giulia Villa + Joyce Chong
What is EARLY CAREER BURNOUT ?
Commencing a career is an important transition point in a young person’s life, and the first ‘real’ job should be an exciting new adventure. Yet the challenge of adapting to a new role and a new lifestyle can come with a great deal of stress. For many who are in the early stages of their career, and starting to feel stressed and anxious about work, it’s important to consider if poor wellbeing is tipping into early career burnout. Burnout is a work-related state of mind comprising exhaustion, distancing from one’s work, and decreased personal achievement [1].
Why are new graduates at the beginning of their career at a higher risk of burnout? There may be a combination of factors, including experiencing challenges they feel underprepared to cope with, or unable to fit into a new culture and way of life. Overwhelmed and unable to adjust to their new circumstances (both professionally and personally), these individuals then start to experience burnout.
Burnout is a phenomenon recognised in many professions - something routinely identified amongst junior doctors and nurses, teachers and academics (amongst many others) - yet we all have the potential to experience burnout, no matter our profession or our stage of career, and it has a very real effect.
“Consider the impact of health professionals caring for the lives of others, workers operating heavy machinery, and teachers tasked with educating the next generation, turning up to work feeling frazzled and overwhelmed. ”
Indeed, burnout is regarded as such a significant issue that the 11th Revision of the World Health Organisation’s International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) has classified it as an occupational phenomenon resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.[2]
Organisations should sit up and notice the very real implications that burnout has for employee wellbeing and mental health, lost productivity, and turnover, and it is something that is disproportionately affecting early career employees. In fact:
Burnout is affecting millennials at a higher that average rate compared to the general population (84% vs. 77%), resulting in higher levels of turnover according to a survey on burnout conducted by Deloitte.
The proportion of Gen Z experiencing burnout is catching up to Millennials, with this in part attributable to the Covid-19 pandemic that saw the lines between work and play blurred even further, as well as removing office-based social networks as a coping strategy.
In this two-part series on early career burnout we look at reasons why new graduates at the beginning of their career trajectory are at risk of burnout, and what can be done to make the transition easier at the organisational and individual levels. Here, we shine a light on those personal factors that contribute to early career burnout.
Individual factors in early career burnout
For many, ‘early career’ follows many years at university or in an apprenticeship. Stepping into a job can look very different from sitting in a classroom, or working under significant direction, as you transition into working independently in an organisation. Below are some individual factors that contribute to early-career burnout.
Mindset, Imposter syndrome, Perfectionism, and early career burnout
Mindset plays a powerful role in early career burnout. Consider the expectations you had of your first ‘real job’, and your desire to make a good impression in the workplace. Stepping into the real world may even trigger Imposter Syndrome, in which you feel like an intellectual fraud and fear being exposed. These fears can then lead to perfectionistic coping behaviours so as to avoid negative evaluation, which in turn can inflate workload and contribute to burnout. [3][4]
Openness to feedback and normalisation of ‘failing’
When there is a fear of failure, feedback and asking for help can seem taboo - as if bringing into sharp attention one’s inability to understand what’s expected of them. This mindset [5] can be self-sabotaging, particularly where goals are not communicated clearly to you - rather than asking for clarification, a fear of failure can lead you to spend too much time trying to guess what you’re supposed to be doing.
Ability to manage yourself - what your study habits reveal
Congrats! Your uni days are finally behind you. Or are they? You may have heard every tertiary student’s favourite saying: “Ps get degrees”, mainly that passing your course and getting a degree helps with finding a job. While this is hard to argue against, there are certain student characteristics that set you up for a helpful adjustment to your new role or early career burnout. An 18-year exploratory longitudinal study tracking students through their university studies and subsequently into the workforce found that individuals who showed high initial social optimism, and whose social optimism increased, were less likely to withdraw and ‘self-handicap’ through task avoidance.[6],[7]. Put simply, being able to manage yourself and avoid procrastination bodes well for an easier transition into the workforce.
Constant connection and social comparisons
Yes, smartphones and laptops, as well as the blurring of work and personal spaces thanks to COVID-19, means that many early career individuals can essentially be constantly connected. However, is it in your best interest to be tethered to your work at all hours of the day, dreading each time you receive an email notification?
Constant connection can also breed upward social comparisons with other early-career colleagues, or even those whom you studied with. This can lead to lowered self-esteem as you believe that everyone else has achieved more than you, and create pressure to perform at - or even exceed - what you think others are doing [8].
Tips TO MANAGE early career burnout
1.Manage your expectations
The start of your career is an exciting time indeed, but it’s important to manage your expectations (about the job, about your work pace, about what is expected) appropriately to avoid burning out. Learn all you can about your role, look to others who perform similar roles for guidance, but above all recognise that you are at the very start. Avoid comparing yourself to someone who has done this for 5 or 10 years.
2. Practice self-care (no, really!)
Nurturing your mind, physical health and social life is just as important as nurturing your career. Some ideas for finding balance are:
Make the most of your lunch breaks. Take a mindful break by going for a walk, enjoying a meal away from your desk or calling a friend. This will give your brain a much-needed rest and boost your energy levels for the rest of the day.
Schedule ‘me time’ as you would schedule meetings. Whether it’s an exercise class, your meal-prep time or a social outing, blocking this time out in your calendar will help you stick to your plans.
Listen to your body’s cues. Everyone is different. You may find yourself losing sleep, getting sick more often, or simply being in a worse overall mood. Ignoring these signs is likely to lead to a breaking point later down the track, so be vigilant that your body may be trying to tell you something.
3. Set boundaries with others and with yourself
This may seem daunting to a new starter, but protecting your own wellbeing will make you a better employee in the long run. If you are able to, consider removing unessential work-related content from your mobile phone. Reducing the notifications you’re receiving after work hours will help you switch off, so that you can be more refreshed and productive the next day. New employees often overestimate what their boss actually expects of them. To avoid miscommunications, setting boundaries may involve having a conversation with your employer about your availability outside of work hours and the importance of this time for your rest and wellbeing. Our article on leavism can help you understand what leads us to work outside of work hours or on holidays and what we can do about this.[7]
4. Seek help
Our tip sheet below looks at some ways in which you can manage burnout, but if your burnout symptoms have reached a level that you feel you no longer can control, it may be time to speak to a professional. Most workplaces provide confidential psychological support services via Employee Assistance Programs, or you can reach out to an external professional to assist you in this time such as a psychologist who works with workplace mental health (like us!) to help you understand the cause and drive of your burnout as well as help you manage them so you can go back to feeling like yourself.
Early-career burnout getting you down? Grab our tip sheet below to learn more about how to help yourself.
REFERENCES
[1] Maslach, C., Schaufeli, W.B., & Leither, M.P. (2001). Job burnout. Annual Review in Psychology, 52, 397-422.
[2] https://www.who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-diseases
[3] Sakulku, J., & Alexander, J. (2011). The imposter phenomenon. International Journal of Behavioral Science, 6, 75-97.
[4] Dudau, D.P. (2014). The relation between perfectionism and imposter phenomenon. Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences, 127, 129-133. Doi:10.1016/j.sbspro.2014.03.226.
[5] Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York: Random House.
[6] Salmela-Aro, K., Tolvanen, A., & Nurmi, J. E. (2009). Achievement strategies during university studies predict early career burnout and engagement. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 75, 162-172.
[7] Salmela-Aro, K., Tolvanen, A., & Nurmi, J.A. (2011). Social strategies during university studies predict early career work burnout and engagement: 18-year longitudinal study. Journal of Vocational behavior, 79, 145-157.
[8] Patrick, H., Neighbors, C., & Knee, C.R. (2004). Appearance-related social comparisons: The role of contingent self-esteem and self-perceptions of attractiveness. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30, 501-514.
[9] Hesketh, I., & Cooper, C.L. (2014). Leavism at work. Occupational medicine, 4, 146-147
Caught in the Perfectionism-Procrastination loop?
Is perfectionism driving you to procrastinate? It may seem counterintuitive, but unrealistic standards and a fear of failure can often lead to procrastination. Read on to learn more…
Caught in the Perfectionism-Procrastination Loop?
By Olivia Kingsley
Perfectionism is often viewed as a positive quality – after all, who wouldn’t want to be perfect? High achievers meet their goals, and this can lead to feeling accomplished. However, the dark side of perfectionism, Clinical Perfectionism, can actually harm our wellbeing, mental health, and performance. Clinical Perfectionism involves placing immense pressure on ourselves to meet extremely high (and often unattainable) standards [1], relentlessly striving for these standards, and basing our self-esteem based on the ability to achieve these standards[2]. When we (inevitably) fall short of meeting these standards, we experience negative emotions and low self-worth. Rather than helping us attain excellence, Clinical Perfectionism can actually result in a number of self-defeating behaviours, including procrastination [3]. Let’s look at Mia’s situation:
Mia, 22, is a university student who takes her studies very seriously and wants to impress her professors. She holds very high standards for her academic performance and believes that any grade lower than a high distinction is unacceptable. If she receives a grade she considers too low, Mia believes she is a failure and assumes that her professors are disappointed in her. Because of the immense pressure she faces, Mia delays starting assignments because she is terrified of making a mistake when writing the ‘perfect’ paper. This means that Mia starts her assignments at the last minute, which leaves her feeling rushed, guilty, and overwhelmed.
In Mia’s situation, procrastination has nothing to do with being lazy. Rather, her procrastination is directly tied to her fear of not attaining perfection. If this sounds familiar, here are some other signs that perfectionism could be driving procrastination [3]:
The thought of starting a project or assignment is too terrifying because it won’t be good enough.
Excessive amounts of time are spent in the planning phase (the ‘grand vision’), but doing the actual task is put off until the last minute because the output may fall short of the vision.
Actions are heavily driven by emotions, for example avoiding finishing a task until it feels “ just right”, or not starting an assignment because we’re “not in the right frame of mind”.
Easier, less intimidating (and less ego-threatening) tasks are prioritised, taking time away from those tasks that need to be completed.
The challenge, though, is that while procrastination brings short-term relief, it’s later replaced by increased time pressure, feeling even more overwhelmed, and underperformance in general.
what maintains the perfectionism-procrastination loop?
How is this unhelpful perfectionism-procrastination loop maintained? Let’s look to those thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that keep us stuck in this loop.
The way we think
The way perfectionists think can really maintain clinical perfectionism and contribute to procrastination.[3][4]
Perfectionists are often hypervigilant for signs that their performance is not up to scratch. They may be sensitive to signs of negative feedback, or even tune in to their own stress and discomfort when attempting to start a task (and rationalising that this discomfort reflects a lack of ability).
Perfectionists can fall into the trap of unhelpful thinking styles. These thinking styles are often inaccurate but are accepted as reflecting reality. They unhelpful thinking styles serve to increase stress and overwhelm, which can be demotivating. Procrastination is a natural consequence when facing such negative emotions. These kinds of thinking styles include:
All or Nothing Thinking: This particularly relates to the attainment of unrealistically high standards, “If I don’t receive 100% on my test then I am a bad student”. Certainly, attaining these unrealistically high standards is unlikely, thus this way of thinking sets the perfectionist up to experience stress and overwhelm.
Catastrophic Thinking: This involves assuming that one will not be able to cope with negative outcomes, and that even a small mistake will be a disaster. “My reputation would never recover if I said the wrong thing at a work meeting”. When the consequences are blown out of proportion, is it any wonder that procrastinating on taking action seems to be the safer option?
Mind Reading: This involves predicting what other people are thinking, often making assumptions that they are judging you negatively, “My supervisor is so critical and exacting that they will rip my assignment to shreds and think I am utterly incompetent.” This type of thinking can then lead to procrastination when submitting work to be evaluated.
Misguided attributions and rationalisations following the outcome subsequently serve to reinforce the perfectionism-procrastination loop, for example believing that:
Attributing deadline-driven productivity to capability, “I do my best work under pressure!”. In reality, the work is done only because of the imminent deadline. The rest of the time
Rationalising outcomes as an underestimate of true abilities, thus preserving self-esteem, “Wow, look at that mark. Pretty remarkable given I didn’t have much time to do it. Imagine if I actually focused I could’ve done so much better!”
The way we feel
Since perfectionists tend to be highly self-critical, they experience negative emotions when their expectations are (inevitably) not met. The thinking styles described earlier keep perfectionists feeling bad about themselves and reinforce their low self-worth. When a perfectionist is unable to meet their high standards, they may experience feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, guilt, depression, and doubt.
These feelings may be so intense and unbearable that procrastination seems to be the safest and most comfortable option. [4]
The way we behave
Finally, behaviour plays a big role in maintaining the perfectionism underpinning procrastination. In the article Anxiety on Campus: What Students Need to Know about Managing Anxiety, our Fight or Flight response kicks in when we face a threat (as is the case of a task we see as challenging and demanding perfection). Procrastination is an excellent example of the Flight response, where we seek to avoid the threat of failure and the resulting negative feelings triggered by the task. Some common examples of procrastination behaviours include:
Avoiding making a decision: This may include being unable to choose an assignment topic because you need to pick the “perfect” one that will result in you making the most compelling presentation in order to earn top marks, or even putting off making a decision (in case it’s the incorrect one!) so that you just have to make do with whatever is left over.
Giving up too soon: It is common for perfectionists to give up trying because doing so means facing the possibility of failure. It feels more secure and safe to avoid the scrutiny.
Delaying starting a task: This can include avoiding starting assignments, or even spending an excessive amount of time on researching but not actually starting the assignment (but still feeling productive). Not committing means not having to deal with a less-than-perfect attempt.
All these procrastinating behaviours are problematic in that they not only increase psychological distress, but also maintain perfectionism. When we engage in procrastination behaviours, we never really learn if we are actually good enough, and our thoughts keep us stuck in the perfectionism-procrastination loop:
If we performed well, we can only imagine how much better we could’ve done if only we’d started earlier and given ourselves a proper chance to shine (that is, our real potential hasn’t been fairly tested!)
If we perform poorly, then we can excuse it because of the pressure you were under (that is, our real potential was crushed under the weight of time pressure or anxiety).
Tips to break the perfectionism-procrastination loop
If you find yourself agreeing to all of the above, help is at hand. Here’s our tip sheet to help you break the perfectionism-procrastination loop [2] . As a sneak peek these include:
Count the costs of procrastination.
Set realistic and achievable goals .
Shift your mindset.
Shift your goalposts.
Show yourself compassion. .
Reach out and talk to a psychologist who works in the perfectionism-procrastination space (like us!).
A word of caution - the perfectionism-procrastination loop often reflects an entrenched pattern of thinking and behaving, accompanied by strong emotions. Progress will take time, and there will be setbacks along the way, so it’s best to adopt the approach of chipping away at it gradually.
REFERENCES
[1] Flett, G.L., Hewitt, P.L., Blankstein, K. R. & Koledin, S. (1991). Dimensions of perfectionism and irrational Thinking. Journal of Rational Emotive and Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, 9, 185-201.
[2] Baldwin, M. W., & Sinclair, L. (1996). Self-esteem and "if…then" contingencies of interpersonal acceptance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71, 1130 - 1141. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.71.6.1130
[3] Antony, M. M., & Swinson, R. P. (1998). When perfect isn't good enough: Strategies for coping with perfectionism. New Harbinger Publications.
[4] Fursland, A., Raykos, B. and Steele, A. (2009). Perfectionism in Perspective. Perth, Western Australia: Centre for Clinical Interventions
[5] Egan, S.J., Wade, T.D., Shafran, R., & Antony, M.M. (2014). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of perfectionism. New York: The Guilford Press.
Imposter Syndrome: When the perfectionist feels like a fraud (and how to overcome it)
Ever feel like a fraud, that you'll be found out? Perfectionists often fall prey to Imposter Syndrome - read on to find out why, and learn steps to help overcome it.
IMPOSTER SYNDROME: WHEN THE PERFECTIONIST FEELS LIKE A FRAUD (AND HOW TO OVERCOME IT)
By Joyce Chong
Jessica, 29, looks like someone who is winning in life. She has a great job in her dream organisation, is the youngest person to hold the position that she does, and there’s considerable buzz surrounding her amongst senior managers and in the wider industry as being ‘one to watch’.
Yet…Jessica finds it hard to accept any of this.
She thinks she obtained her job through good fortune and timing. That people in her industry view her capabilities positively only causes her to worry more about being found out – she can’t possibly know as much as people think she does!
Sound familiar? That’s because what Jessica experiences is quite common, and around 70% of people have experienced the Imposter Syndrome at some point in time. Indeed, Imposter Syndrome has been uncovered in university students, academics, medical students, marketing managers, and physicians.[1] Heck, even Natalie Portman, actress and Harvard graduate, has alluded to experiencing the Imposter Syndrome.
WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME?
The Imposter Syndrome, or Imposter Phenomenon as it is also known, refers to when people believe themselves to be intellectual frauds due to an inability to internalise their successes. Along with this is a fear of being exposed.
There are certain transition points in life when we may expect Imposter Syndrome, for example:
- Starting a new education adventure like Natalie Portman (e.g. high school, university, postgraduate studies).
- Becoming 'qualified' in your field, leading others to treat you as if you are 'fully-fledged' yet you feel you have only just scratched the surface of the knowledge in your field.
- Being looked up to due to your years of experience (e.g. relative to junior members or people outside of the field) or to your position as an expert (e.g. teacher, lecturer, tutor).
However, there’s also suggestion that Imposter Syndrome is linked to stable personality traits such as neuroticism, conscientiousness, negative core self-evaluations across situations, and also maladaptive perfectionistic tendencies.[2]
IMPOSTER SYNDROME AND PERFECTIONISM: WHAT'S THE LINK?
Six key components of Imposter Syndrome have been identified, and show a link with perfectionism, including (1) A need to be special or the very best; (2) A desire for superhero status where there is pursuit of excellence most areas of life; (3) A fear of failure when faced with achievement-related tasks, leading to anxiety; (4) Denial of competence or discounting of praise; (5) Fear and guilt about success in instances where the imposter feels undeserving of success; and (6) The Imposter Cycle. [3]
The Imposter Cycle is a particularly important component of the Imposter Syndrome. Here, an achievement-related task triggers a fear of failure and anxiety, leading to over-preparing (or to initial procrastination followed by an intense last-minute work rate). When the goal is achieved a process of discounting may kick in, thereby diminishing the validity of the achievement.
As you can see, there is much overlap between the key components of Imposter Syndrome and perfectionism as outlined in our previous post from the pursuit of excellence, the desire to be the very best, and the discounting of achievements.
Delving deeper into the relationship between perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome, it’s been found that Imposter Syndrome is linked to perfectionistic self-presentation, a heightened concern over making mistakes, and a need for approval.[4]
With this relationship in mind, let’s look at some tips for change.
HOW TO OVERCOME THE IMPOSTER SYNDROME (AND PERFECTIONISM!)
1. Ease the unrealistic standards
Sometimes things seem daunting and unattainable because we’ve built them up in our minds so that they’re bigger than Ben Hur. The uneasiness and anxiety that goes with this is awful enough to put anyone off. Guess what? The unrealistic standards make you want to start the task even less! So ease the unrealistic standards, and consider setting a task that extends you rather than deflates you.
2. Ask THE tough question
For those who find procrastination a big stumbling block, this question may be confronting – Is it worse to go through life dominated by a fear of failure, or is it worse to have found your limit even if it's not exactly where you thought it was (and, be honest, are your perfectionistic standards likely to be met?)?
It's comforting to hide behind the possibility that you could’ve done better (“if only…”) and prop yourself up by going over the top in your efforts, but it can also be extremely tiring and never-ending.
3. Choose some, not all
Sure, you can choose some areas to focus your efforts on, but what happens when you try to be the best in all areas of your life, all at the same time?
Are your efforts diluted (and therefore, in your mind, less than perfect)? Do you have the energy to cope with applying unrealistic standards to all areas of your life, push yourself hard to achieve in every domain, and maintain performance at this level for a sustained period of time?
4. Set experiments to test your predictions
If you think your efforts will only be good enough if you put in 110% then let’s test if that is true. Let’s say you’re making lunch for friends. Maybe in your mind, your friends will only be happy if you prepare an eight-course degustation menu with matching wines.
Let’s test that. What if we served a four-course menu? Would it lessen their enjoyment?
What if you prepared one main dish, assembled a tasting platter, and bought a dessert? Would it lessen their enjoyment?
Putting your thoughts to the test is a great way to see if others really expect that of you, or if it's what you think others expect of you (see more on socially prescribed perfectionism here).
5. Be fair in weighing up the evidence
Remember Jessica from the start of this post, the ‘one to watch’ in her industry? The one who discounts her multiple achievements, instead worrying about being found out? How do you think Jessica would view criticism? Would she give it the same weight as she does praise? Or would she let one small speck of criticism cloud her judgement of her abilities?
There’s a real negative filter at play here (you can read more about the negative filter, and other unhelpful thinking styles here), where one small negative outcome overrules all positives that may apply. So, exercise fairness when it comes to weighing up the evidence.
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REFERENCES
[1] Sakulku, J., & Alexander. J. (2011). The imposter phenomenon. International Journal of Behavioral Science, 6, 75-97.
[2] Vergauwe, J., Wille, B., Feys, M., De Fruyt, F., & Anseel, F. (2014). Fear of being exposed: The trait-relatedness of the imposter phenomenon and its relevance in the work context. Journal of Business Psychology. DOI: 10.1007/s 10869-014-9382-5.
[3] Sakulku, J., & Alexander. J. (2011). The imposter phenomenon. International Journal of Behavioral Science, 6, 75-97.
[4] Dudau, D.P. (2014). The relation between perfectionism and imposter phenomenon. Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences, 127, 129-133. Doi:10.1016/j.sbspro.2014.03.226.
A primer on perfectionism
Here’s a quick guide on what you need to know about perfectionism.
A PRIMER ON PERFECTIONISM
By Joyce Chong
It’s easy to think of perfectionism as one overall category in which you’re driven to achieve exceedingly high standards, and attaining the standard is like climbing to the peak of a mountain. But perfectionism is so much more complex and diverse than that. Today, we’re taking a closer look at the different ways in which we can think about perfectionism.
WHERE DOES PERFECTIONISM COMES FROM?
The cause of perfectionism is thought to be varied. [1] Genes potentially make a contribution, as suggested by studies of identical twins raised together versus those raised apart, as do parental expectations. It’s also thought that we can ‘learn’ perfectionism through mechanisms such as observation, reward (e.g. getting praised for doing well), and punishment (e.g. getting punished for failing to meet others’ expectations).
ABOUT PERFECTIONISTIC STANDARDS
We often think of perfectionism as something that is driven from within, influenced by our own high standards and driving our own behaviour. However perfectionism isn’t necessarily directed at ourselves.[2]
Perfectionism can be directed at others wherein you expect others to adhere to the high standards that you expect of them. Thus, you may expect:
Your partner to do housework a particular way;
Your family to conform to your idealised vision of how family members should relate to each other
Your friends to act in a particular way
Your children to behave how they ‘should’
In each of these situations it’s easy to see that disappointment, hurt, and anger may follow when others don’t meet your expectations.
There is also something that we call socially prescribed perfectionism, wherein we believe that others hold high expectations that we must meet. Not surprisingly, it’s been shown to be linked to a fear of negative evaluation, loneliness and shyness, lower levels of social self-esteem[3]. It has also been linked to a tendency to be perfectionistic when it comes to how one presents oneself (perfectionistic self-presentation), the perception of having received social feedback that is negative in nature, to ruminate more about having (potentially) offended others, and also feelings of depression and social anxiety.[4]
HOW IS YOUR PERFECTIONISM MANIFEST?
Perfectionism can be manifest in different ways in different domains of our lives. For instance you may see perfectionism:
Within the home, with lawns meticulously manicured, the interior and exterior cleaned spotlessly, and objects arranged ‘just so’. There may be daily, weekly, monthly, and seasonal cleaning routines that must be rigidly adhered to.
At work where you pore over every detail of every project, find it hard to delegate tasks, and set extremely high targets that you ‘must’ achieve at all costs. Long hours are typically involved in getting outcomes that meet your exacting standards.
At school or at university, where you aim for extremely high marks, relentlessly study or research to ensure that you have all the answers readily available and that you avoid making any mistakes. Your assignments keep getting reworked until they feel ‘just right’.
In hobbies, where there are multiple attempts are made to get something ‘just so’. If cooking is your thing, then it may be attempting to replicate a dish so that it looks exactly like it does in a magazine.
In sport/exercise, and not just at the lofty levels of competition. There may be multiple attempts to achieve a textbook yoga pose, or overtraining against a coach’s advice because of a desire to perfect techniques.
In self-presentation…how you speak, dress, your level of grooming, your lifestyle choices, your body weight and shape. Throw in the heightened scrutiny of social media to this mix and it’s easy to see how perfectionism can take over in a bid to maintain a perfect image.
HOW IS PERFECTIONISM MAINTAINED?
How do perfectionistic standards continue to persist given they are often unrealistically high and therefore at times unlikely to be met?
One factor is the thought process or interpretation – that a failure to meet these standards are not a reflection of the unrealistic nature of the standards themselves, but rather a reflection on your own failures. Or, if the standard is somehow achieved, then it may be discounted as being too easy and attainable by all.
Perfectionistic behaviours also reinforce the problem, as you increase your efforts to achieve the unrealistic standards. While it may pay off, it’s important to recognise that this level of effort is often difficult to sustain in the longer term.
Interestingly, procrastination also plays a part for some dealing with perfectionism. By ‘opting out’, or perhaps completing the work with insufficient time to do a decent job, the ‘blow’ of being unable to meet the unrealistic standard becomes far easier to handle.
THE IMPACT OF PERFECTIONISM
Critically, what is the impact of perfectionism? Is it something that motivates you, spurring you on to strive for excellence? When that excellence is achieved do you feel a sense of contentment and satisfaction?
Or, is perfectionism more like a rod of punishment, where you feel pressured to reach a particular standard, your motivation is driven by a fear of failure, or where achievements are quickly dismissed as being too easy and replaced by even loftier goals?
Give that perfectionism can have very different effects, the big question is what differentiates adaptive perfectionism from maladaptive – or clinical – perfectionism?
A key factor to look at is how much 'wiggle room' we give ourselves when it comes to our standards. When perfectionism is adaptive we tend to see the goals as guidelines to work tirelessly towards, however we can show some degree of flexibility when it comes to the goal that is set, whether the goals are realistic, and whether there is flexibility in the time frame within which it is to be achieved.
In contrast, when clinical perfectionism is at play goals are set unrealistically high (typically setting us up for failure), however in typical black and white thinking any deviation from the goal is viewed as failure. Clinical perfectionism leaves us constantly feeling that we’re not good enough, leading us to set even loftier goals that we are unlikely to meet. With this type of mindset is it any wonder that clinical perfectionism is linked with burnout, psychological distress, depression, and other mental health disorders?[5] To learn more about this, see our Tip Sheet in our FREE Resource Library on When Perfectionism Harms your Wellbeing.
When considering the effects of clinical perfectionism, the big question to ask yourself is…Is it really worth it?
REFERENCES
[1] Antony, M.M., & Swinson, R.P. (1998). When perfect isn’t good enough: Strategies for coping with perfectionism. Oakland: New Harbinger.
[2] Hewitt, P.L., Flett, G.L., Turnbull-Donovan, W., & Mikail, S.F. (1991). The Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale: Reliability, validity, and psychometric properties in psychiatric samples. Psychological Assessment, 3, 464-468.
[3] Flett, G.L., Hewitt, P.L., & De Rosa, T. (1996). Dimensions of perfectionism, psychosocial adjustment, and social skills. Personality and Individual Differences, 20, 143-150.
[4] Nepon, T., Flett, G.L, Hewitt, P.L., & Molnar, D.S. (2011). Perfectionism, negative social feedback, and interpersonal rumination in depression and social anxiety. Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science, 43, 297-308.
[5] Egan, S.J., Wade, T.D., Shafran, R., & Antony, M.M. (2014). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of perfectionism. New York: The Guilford Press.
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